- Am I a good candidate to become a Surrogate?
-Age 22-40
-Live in a surrogacy-friendly state (we will help you figure that out)
-In very good health with a Body Mass Index (BMI) of less than 30
-Non-smoker and living in a smoke-free environment
-No illegal drug use
-No alcohol use
-No criminal history
-Normal and up-to-date Pap-Smear
-Normal and uncomplicated pregnancy and delivery record
-No more than 2 C-Sections (no "classical" incisions)
-At least one biological child living with you and in your full custody
-No state or government financial assistance of any kind
-Living in a stable and safe home environment
-Most importantly, love being pregnant!
**Having health insurance currently in place that covers maternity expenses without a surrogacy exclusion is a major benefit to you, but it is not required
- How does the Surrogate get pregnant?
The surrogate gets pregnant through the Invitro Fertilization (IVF) process. The egg comes from the intended mother or an egg donor, and the sperm comes from the intended father or a sperm donor. Then, a laboratory created embryo is placed inside the uterus of the surrogate in a simple and painless procedure very similar to an annual exam. Again, the embryo is in no way biologically related to the surrogate.
- Do I have to pay anything to be a Surrogate?
No, any and all costs are the responsibility of the intended parents. All reproductive clinic, legal, psychological, lab, and medical bills will be paid by the intended parents. You may need to fill a prescription, or something along those lines once in awhile, but you will be receiving a monthly allowance to account for miscellaneous expenses.
- How long does it take to be matched?
That is a very hard question to answer, as some women may be matched within a few weeks and with others it may take several months. Each relationship is unique, and it might take some time to find that perfect match. Depending on where the intended parents are in the process will also have a large impact on the length of this process. If they already have frozen embryos, things can happen very quickly. If they are waiting for an egg retrieval, by either the intended mother or a donor, things may take a few months longer than anticipated. Please be flexible and patient as everyone is working towards the same goal, a healthy pregnancy and a happy baby!
- Do I have to give myself shots?
Yes, you or your spouse, friend, or co-worker will need be able to do this. Most injections are given in the hip/buttocks area. Each clinic has a different schedule and dosage of medications used, usually different forms of estrogen and progesterone. The injections can range from weekly to daily, again, depending on your personal plan-of-care. There are also oral medications, patches and suppositories that may be prescribed as well.
- Will the parents be at my OB appointments?
For those who can come or live nearby, yes. Typically, most parents will want to participate in and be as much a part of the pregnancy as possible. If they are unable to attend and you want support, the owner or an associate of Miracles in the Making would be more than happy to go with you, upon request and availability. Most parents will make an extra effort to be at the mid-pregnancy 20 week ultrasound. This is usually when the gender(s) is revealed. A momentous day for everyone! It is also nice for the parents to meet the provider who will most likely be in the delivery room.
- Will my husband need to do anything?
Yes, your spouse will need to sign the contract, do a simple blood test at the clinic, and he will also be a part of the psychological evaluation performed before you can move forward with the medication portion of the surrogacy. Towards the end of the pregnancy, he will sign legal documents stating he is not the biological father of the baby.
- How and when do I get paid?
Please review the Surrogate Compensation page to see what a surrogate will receive for compensation and other procedures. You will begin receiving a monthly allowance the month you start medications. You will receive payments once a month in a pro-rated amount drawn from an escrow account of the agency's choice. If, for example, you lost the pregnancy at 15 weeks, you will have been paid up to that point. If you were to deliver at 32 weeks, you will receive a balloon payment after delivery to fulfill the entire compensation. The escrow account alleviates a multitude of problems including: non-payment, late payments, personal checks bouncing, the wrong amount being sent, and most importantly, provides security knowing you will be paid, and the funds are available. Everyone can then enjoy the pregnancy without a lingering worry of financial issues.
- Can I have an Epidural?
Yes, you may have any pain medication approved by your OB. The intended parents are aware that even though it is their baby, it is your body. You are allowed to do what makes you comfortable before, during and after the delivery.
- Is it hard to give up the baby?
You will be well informed, supported and prepared for this moment. Yes, you will have an emotional connection to their baby as you have carried it inside of you for nine months, felt it kick, move and grow; but it is different than it is was with a child of your own. You have known from the beginning this is not, in any way, your child, and you have consented to give up your maternal rights after delivery. The baby will always have a special place in your heart. You have all worked so hard for this day to finally come! Your heart will overflow with joy when you see the look on their faces the first time they see their baby. A dream come true; this child they have so desperately wanted. What a blessing it is for everyone!
- Who gets to hold the baby first?
This is a very special day for everyone and the details will have been discussed in depth ahead of time. It varies from surrogate to surrogate on what their preferences are. Some want to hold and comfort the child, and then pass it to the intended mother, other surrogates want the intended mother to be the first to hold the child. Either way, this is a precious moment for both women.
- Can I nurse the baby?
You will be asked ahead of time and if you agree to nurse the baby, then yes, accommodations will be made in the hospital for this to take place. You may not want to breastfeed, but may choose to pump the milk instead. The hospital will provide all supplies needed while you are in your recovery room. The nursery will provide formula to those who do not want any breast milk, or to supplement when you are unable to nurse. Several surrogates choose to pump and freeze the milk and mail it at a later date. Supplies and shipping will be at the expense of the intended parents. If the intended parents choose not to receive the milk, it can be donated to a local milk bank.
- Can I have the baby in my hospital room?
After delivery, the baby will either be taken to the nursery, or stay in your room; at this point it is your preference. Some women choose to have alone time and be in a private room, others choose to have the baby and new mother stay in the same room. It all depends on the situation because each delivery is so different! You will have access to the baby at any time, either in your recovery room, or visits to the nursery. The intended parents will be given a wrist band indicating who they are, also giving them access to the baby.
- How much contact will I have with the baby once they leave the hospital?
This all depends on the dynamic of the relationship formed throughout the pregnancy. Some intended parents and surrogates become very close and even do family vacations together. Phone calls, texts, or e-mails can happen on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. Others cut all ties and move on. It varies greatly and cannot be determined ahead of time. It is just something both the intended parents and surrogate will have to discuss and work out on their own terms.
Frequently Asked Questions
- What is a Gestational Carrier (GC)/Surrogate?
A gestational carrier is a woman who gets pregnant via the In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF) process and delivers a child who is not, in any way, biologically her own. We use the word surrogate very loosely as the true meaning of a traditional surrogate is a woman who becomes pregnant by using her own egg and is simply artificially inseminated; the child would be biologically hers. Our agency does not use traditional surrogates but, instead uses gestational carriers. This simplifies the legal process and makes the emotional detachment easier when it comes time to leave the hospital without a child. We are just the oven for baking someone else's bun!
- What is an Intended Parent (IP)?
The intended parent(s) is the person (or couple) receiving the child after the surrogate delivers. The baby is biologically related to either the mother, father, or both. They have provided the embryo(s) to create the pregnancy either by using her egg, and his sperm, donor products, or a combination of the two.
At Miracles in the Making we understand how confusing and complex this process can be. We are here to help you through each and every step. Below you will find answers to some of your most common questions. We would love to talk with you over the phone, by e-mail or in person to answer any other questions or particular concerns you might have about becoming a surrogate.
Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this amazing experience!
