What can you expect once you decide to become a surrogate? Our agency will help you with each step of this process, no matter how simple or complicated it gets. You will always have someone there by your side to support and encourage you along the way. Surrogacy is sometimes challenging, and it will test your patience, but in the end, it is so worth it. There are no words to describe the fullness your heart will feel seeing the new parents hold their child for the first time. Your eyes will light up and tears will flow at that moment everyone has worked so hard for. Below you will find some helpful information and the approximate time in which the order of events will take place. If you ever have any questions, please let us know how we can help!
Now what?
- One of the very first things you will need to do is get as much information as possible. Whether it is from this website, other areas of the internet, friends or family members who have been through the IVF process or just simply by asking us. The more information you have, the less likely you will be surprised or caught off-guard by something.
- Next, you will need to contact us, by using the form below, and we will answer any of your preliminary questions about becoming a surrogate and e-mail you an application for candidacy. We can meet in person or just go over your answers by phone once it is completely filled out. You will be notified shortly after our meeting if you qualify to be represented by Miracles in the Making.
- A copy of your OB medical records is required by this agency and most every clinic you will use to do the transfer. This will help us determine if you are medically qualified.
- If you are on any sort of birth control, keep a record of current and future menstrual cycles. You will be asked this question a lot in the upcoming months. If you have an IUD in place, have it removed as soon as you have qualified to become a surrogate. It needs to be out for at least three months prior to a transfer.
- Once candidacy is established, you are ready to begin interviewing potential intended parents. This can take place over the phone on a three-way call, Skype/Facetime, or in person. We will discuss timelines, expectations, and just get an overall feeling of a partnership. If there is a connection and everyone agrees to work together and move forward, the Agency Fee will be paid, and you are then in an agreement work with the intended parents. You will begin receiving the monthly allowance to retain your services.
- We will contact the lawyer and arrange legal paperwork to begin drafting the contract. You will be contacted by the lawyer to fill out a preliminary questionnaire in order for them to better draft the contract unique to your answers. The contract will then be sent to the intended parents for review and if any negotiations need to happen, we will assist you. Once signed by both parties we can move forward.
- A psychological evaluation is required for the surrogate, her spouse (if applicable) and the intended parents. We have a psychologist that is familiar with this process and coordinates the reports with the clinic being used. You will be contacted by the psychologist to set up an appointment at a convenient time.
- You will be contacted by a nurse from the intended parents clinic to set up an appointment to establish you as a patient and to confirm you are a good candidate for a surrogate pregnancy. Your medical records will be reviewed, you will have some blood work drawn and a physical examination will be performed; this may include a water (saline) ultrasound to examine your uterine lining. This is a quick and painless procedure where the doctor will fill the uterus with a small amount of saline to look for any potential problems, such as scar tissue, lesions, etc.
- After the clinic receives copies of the psychological exams from the surrogate, her spouse and the intended parents, the contract has been signed, and the surrogate is cleared to move forward, then medications can be ordered. If the surrogate is going to do a "fresh cycle" then her cycle will need to be coordinated with the intended mother or egg donor. If you are doing a "frozen cycle" then your cycle will be monitored, and a date will be set to do the transfer.
- At this time you will receive a color-coded calendar of daily tasks and things to do for the next several weeks. It will tell you what to do, and when. This is a very exciting time...seeing something in writing makes everything real!
- Next, you will receive a box of medication in the mail; take everything as directed. Weekly injections of estrogen and daily injections of progesterone may be a part of your regime. Other antibiotics and anti-inflammatory pills will be taken, as well as suppositories. This may all seem overwhelming at first, but becomes easier as the days go by, and becomes habit after awhile. To be honest, the shots are no fun, but just a part of the big picture. Each clinic has a different schedule and dosage of medications. Some can be taken orally as opposed to an injection.
- You are now getting very close to transfer! Another ultrasound will be done to check your lining and lab work will indicate if your estrogen and progesterone levels are on track. If all is well, it is time to transfer. This is a very happy, but stressful day. Everyone is thinking, "Will it work?" You will go to the clinic and get checked in and they may give you a Valium to help relax the uterine muscles, and you! The procedure is very similar to an annual exam. Guided by ultrasound, the doctor uses a tiny catheter to place the embryo(s) onto the best place of the uterine lining . It is all painless, and takes only a few minutes. You will then rest on the table for about 20-30 minutes before being released to go home. Once home, you may need to be on mild-moderate bed rest for 1-3 days, depending on the clinic orders. This is your chance to relax and enjoy some down time. Meanwhile, the embryo(s) are hopefully snuggling down and attaching to their new home for the next eight months.
- You will have your blood drawn on day 7-9 and again on day 8-12. These tests are referred to as your "betas." These two numbers analyze the amount of beta-hCG (pregnancy hormone) that is present and if they are within range, you are considered chemically pregnant. This means you have the right amount of hormone present to indicate the embryo(s) have implanted. Another blood draw on around day 20 will further confirm this. If at any time the numbers are zero or have declined, you may have lost the pregnancy or the embryo did not attach. All medications will be stopped and you will wait for it to pass. This is considered a very early miscarriage and may be like a heavy period when it is time for your next cycle. There are no guarantees that it will work the first, second, or even third time. This is a very sad and frustrating time for everyone, and this is when good communication is critical, both between the surrogate and intended parents and also with the agency and other women in the group. Support, both emotional and physical, can make a devastating situation more bearable.
- If your numbers have gone up the appropriate amount, then a 6-8 week ultrasound will be scheduled to see if, and how many, heartbeats there are. Another very, very exciting day! Everyone is usually very anxious to see "What's in there!" You will go to the clinic and an internal (vaginal) ultrasound will be performed. The technician will measure the tiny baby and its yolk sac to get an estimated age. If everyone is healthy, then another ultrasound will be scheduled in 2-3 weeks when you are 8-10 weeks pregnant. This link is very helpful in finding out your due date based on the time of transfer.
- Around the time of your second ultrasound you will begin to wean off your medication, something to look forward to! Also, you will need to schedule your first OB appointment with your regular OB/GYN. The clinic likes to have this appointment confirmed at the second ultrasound; making sure you will receive prompt care after you have been released from their care.
- After being released from the clinic, you will begin regular prenatal appointments with your doctor. You will usually be seen once a month until week 30, then every other week, then weekly, towards the end of pregnancy. Not much is different with a surrogate pregnancy, your body knows just what to do. Around week 12-15 all medications will be stopped and you can rest, relax and enjoy the pregnancy.
- Congratulations! You have made it very far in the process. Next, you just "bake" that baby to perfection and when the time is right, delivery day! This will be one of the most intense, amazing and joyous days of your entire life. Both the surrogate and intended parents will have talked in-depth about expectations of the birth. No one wants any surprises on such a special day. You will have discussed options on a possible induction, or waiting to go naturally, who is going to hold the baby first, cut the cord, etc. The agency would be more than willing to help everyone come to an agreement on all the little details before the "birth" day.
- The BIG day has arrived! Whether you have already set a day to be induced, scheduled to have a C-Section, or things happened naturally, the baby is coming! Emotions will be high and nerves on edge, but everyone is thrilled to meet this Miracle. Deliveries will happen at the surrogates local hospital where the staff will be made aware of surrogacy arrangements. You will be able to have your family and friends there to support you, and the surrogate may want to have her family and friends present, as well. Both parties need to be respectful of the others wishes. For example, if the surrogate does not want anyone else but her husband and the intended parents in the delivery room, those wants should be taken into consideration. If the intended parents want the new grandparents in the room, those wishes should also be respected. Again, all of this will have been clarified ahead of time.
- After delivery, the baby will either be taken to the nursery or stay in the room with you (or the parents, if they have a room at the hospital) Some women choose to have alone time and be in a private room, others choose to have the baby and new mother stay in the same room. It all depends on the situation because each delivery is so different! You will have access to the baby at any time, either in your room, or visits to the nursery. The intended parents will be given a wrist band indicating who they are, also giving them access to the baby.
- Upon discharge, and up to a month ahead of time, you will have filled out preliminary legal paperwork that signifies the termination of your maternal rights. Up to that point, you and the intended father will be listed on the birth certificate. After the proper documents have been submitted to Vital Records, your name will be removed from the birth certificate and the Intended Mother will be added.
- After everything mentioned above, you can look forward to a relaxing day at the spa, and simply sit back, focus on healing and reminisce on the amazing thing you have just done. You are an incredible woman!
